Understanding Human Behavior: A Compassionate Approach Inspired by Polyvagal Theory

We often hold the belief that individuals are fully responsible for their behaviors and actions. However, this perspective is not entirely accurate. Not everyone possesses the self-awareness required to regulate their emotions, control their thoughts, and inhibit their behavior. Our experiences of the world are filtered through our five senses, which are connected not only to our current reality but also to the entirety of our past. All our emotions, thoughts, and behaviors are influenced by our nervous system. Have you heard of the polyvagal theory?

What is Polyvagal Theory?

Polyvagal theory is a psychological and physiological framework developed by Dr. Stephen Porges in the 1990s. It explains how the autonomic nervous system (ANS) responds to stress and trauma, influencing behavior, emotional regulation, and social connection. When our physiology changes, our perception of the world and our emotions also shift. People's behavior does not always reflect their intentions.

Behavior Through the Lens of Polyvagal Theory

When individuals function from a place of fear, isolation, or insecurity, it impacts both their behavior and their perception of the world. This means that when we observe people's behavior, we cannot place blame entirely on them, as there are many unseen factors at play. Instead, we should view behavior with compassion, understanding it as a response to internal processes that are not always visible.

Compassion Over Judgment

We should approach mistakes and bad behavior with compassion, or at least without assuming a malicious agenda. Sometimes, people are unaware of their actions or unable to control them. True awareness and learning can only happen in a trusted environment where individuals feel safe to explore and understand their behaviors.

Fostering Compassion and Accountability

If we practice compassion towards others, we will be encouraged to extend it to ourselves. This could make us braver in taking accountability for our mistakes when given the opportunity, and kinder in our efforts to learn from them.

Conclusion

Don’t judge what you don’t understand, and remember, most of the time, we don’t understand.

Sincerely,
Taahirah